Yeah ! Its between legality and morality as usual. But why is it war this time ?
Actually, you can take it as you like, ....... a contrast, a lost connection or a debate. But I take it to be war because, its what happened in me. Yeah ! It happened !!
But, what actually is it ?
Its, what should I do ?
First, before, I answer this question, let me tell you the story. I know, this is what you want to know first !
OK ! Here it is !
May be I was 14 or 15 years old then. Doing my final years of school, dreaming about the big brother days of college. A new math teacher was appointed in our school and he made a good impact on the whole school. Everyone know him for his hot blood and innovative approaches in teaching and learning. As I’m good at math and known among school folks of my controversies, we came together often and got together well. Eventually, I ended up being his pet student and he my Idol/Hero. By the time I’m in my final year of school, he made a good group of students who come to him every evening for math tuition. So, obviously they become my friends and we all started being a gang. A gang well known in the city as ‘ Gnani Gang ‘. Every one know us, at least every legal authority, from courts to Panchyathi office to every constable in every police station in the city.
I learned being grown up. I started drinking, watching p***, going to late night movies without telling to my parents, mid-night parties and a lot. But I still wonder why I never messed up with girls. They always been a foreign thing, even though I watched x-rated videos and all other guys have girl-friends, who meet them secretly in my house. I’m not blaming anyone for I learned all that, neither me :-). It just happened so.
One day in my final year of school, we had a late night party and we all got drunk. At the end of the party all are inebriated except for me and my teacher and he said we are going some where and took me there. It is a hut made of straw with a table for some bottles and glass tumblers and a big bed-sheet spread on the ground. He introduced me to some of them and this one in particular. He is a gangster who is hiding out then, for there are a lot of crime reports filed against him. At that age I used to believe there exist god gangsters as they show in movies. So, I felt like I’m doing a good job hanging with a real-life hero.
And they started talking and planning about killing someone. As their talks went by, I’m growing curious and started concentrating on it. Listening to every detail. Since, I’m in drunk, I couldn’t get it all ( now I don’t know what exactly it was as they spoke, word by word, but I remember the picture that I picturised based on the words), so I tried hard. At times, I felt like I should help and gave them some advises, being feeling proud as if I’m doing a part of heros job. They gave me a compliment, saying I could make a great politician, about what I felt proud.
Later I went home dropping my teacher at his home on my bike. Two days later, I was reading, as usual, newspaper which said a priest has been killed the night before at around 10:15 PM on the street. When I was reading I felt proud for I know it far before the news paper know.
From then, I read for an other week, a lot of funny stories made by the media, in news papers and had fun getting amazed at the way people interpret facts and build stories no where near to the truth. Later it got faded out in the wind that is gone by the time, both in my mind and on the papers. But for that one week it made a good deal of noise in the political drama by both religious and social leaders.
So, now, back now, here I’m ...... here, thinking of what I did in a completely different perspective.
Oh! Really ?
I don’t know, but I could see some sin in that.
I just see the sin now ?
No!
Actually I know its wrong, but ....... let me explain it.
Right then, when it happened, I didn’t have a judging mind. I’m all about being crazy. Being the one, who give everyone, a surprise and just do what I like to do, just for fun ....... Later on, it came to me a lot of times, but I had reasons ....... I mean reasons, reasons that say I’m right ...... in many ways ....... in all ways.
This gangster is under the financial and moral support for life of this politician, who asked him to do that. So, he was just obeying his master. Gnani was just helping his friend on his errand, ho helped him a lot of times. I was in there, with no knowledge of what is going on, but what is happening (I’m talking about inner nad outer consciousness). But now (when I was rethinking), it was past. May duty to past is to tell what I know to who need to know. But what will come out of it. Gnani and the Gangster going to jail.
Actually, Gnani lost his first child in birth and met with an accident that took him six months to recover. Should he still go through any more prosecution ? Should I just spoil his life’s flow and provoke the evil in him ? What if I forgive him in the name of Holy Spirit ?
So, should I let the gangster and the political leader go with it ?
I don’t have to worry about everything. God knows it and he will show to the one person, whom he made take care of it, how to do that . So, I’m fine.
I used to believe no one do, what is not planned by God for them. Even sin is ! I still believe sin is created b God, or how else something come out of no creator and God is the only creator of anything. So, I didn’t do anything out of God’s will.
This was what I used to believe. But now, in the new perspective of Christ, I totally got lost. Even now, I may don’t do much good taking the culprit to Justice, rather disturb a beautiful life of a man. I know, I did something wrong, and I no more do this or let this happen. And, if I have to confess, as for the laws of obedience, what else I do than being a cause to an other havoc, that may lead to some other sin or a total disaster of my own and others life, everyone loved me so much, my family and a lot more many.
Does God appreciate this by obeying the law or breaking the law for good sake ?
Is what I’m doing really good ?
What if I just be calm and write a letter to Gnani about how I feel and pray for forgiveness ?
Man ! Its simple !!
Is it ?
Is there a responsibility, I should be responsibility, I should be responsible for?
If so, what is it ?
Do I have something to do with that ?
Or am I just worrying about something I really don’t have to as I always do ?
But why did I hear about this story ? Is it just happened and its not a message to me ?
Do you want to hear this story ?
Here it is !
A high school guy and his older friend went to a shop. The older guy went into shop, robbed it and killed the girl behind the counter and came back to car while the young guy was waiting in car. As the young guy realized, there is something wrong, he insisted the older guy told him all that happened and abused him that he will kill him to if he said a word out. So, the young guy kept it a secret and two weeks later both of them were in jail.
